Please, just for one minute.

It wasn’t until last week that I realised just what I was doing. Every week I take time out to volunteer at a family group; the majority of families are refugees and asylum seekers. It provides a safe space for families to bring their young ones, socialise, have a cup of coffee and just take a breath from their usual routine. It’s great.  It’s such a fab way of building communities and making friends. There’s an abundance of toys for the children to play with, and a baby area filled with soft mats and blankets. There’s a craft corner for older children to get involved with play d’oh, colouring and other such activities, and there’s always a floor full of toy cars. It’s great, there really is something for everyone.

This group happens every week, every week is different and brings news and old faces. I get to make new friends, support people and cuddle babies.What’s not to love?

Last week however, I had a sort of ‘eureka’ moment, a moment of realisation about what I was actually doing, what I was involved with, with this particular group. It was coming towards to end of the session and we were tidying up; one mother thrust her child into my arms asking me to hold her newborn for ‘just one minute’ whilst she took a breath and popped to the bathroom. It was in this moment I realised the extensive degree of trust I had built with these incredible individuals and the responsibility that lay in my hands. They had trusted me with their child, their newborn child. For those brief moments this particular lady found some respite, she had a moment to herself and I was able to create that for her just by holding her child. What an opportunity, what a blessing.

It was in that moment, I realised what was happening. I realised what it was all about. I felt a tear or two escape the corner of my eye as I took a moment to step back and just watch everyone around me. Chaos. Beautiful chaos. People from all over the world, more nationalities than I could count on my own hands all speaking one language…. Love.

As I held the tiny baby, all dressed in pink knitwear, in the nook of my arm, I was filled with love and joy as I stood as part of a community. I realised just how much this little family meant to me, how protective I have become over the bonds we have built and the moments we share together. We may be dysfunctional, we may be chaotic, messy and walking difficult paths and it might not always be easy and it might not always be pretty but, we’re doing it together, and we’re doing it all through the eyes of love.

What a blessing.

Pick up a good book. A what?

In today’s news I heard about the dramatic drop in the averages of young girls reading ages. A new report has suggested that the reading age of a vast proportion of ten year olds is considerably lower than average for their age. There is increasing concern that this is due to a growing frequency of technology in households. More tv, social networking, easier access and more gaming consoles in children’s bedrooms. This is happening in children younger than ever. It is now common to see even babies being put in front of IPads, smart phones and consoles.

Now, i’m not particularly old (although my baby brother and nephew may disagree) but, when I was younger, I didn’t have a phone or console….. I read. I was read to until I was able to read to myself. I was encouraged to read at every available opportunity both in and out of school. Although schools are now beginning to encourage reading and comprehension again through schemes such as ‘accelerated reader’, this follows a dramatic slump in the reading community within schools.

To compare to this, I also read about ‘Open Doors’, a Christian charity that works to provide for persecuted Christians worldwide. I heard about the way they had been providing children’s Bibles all over the globe. They told of how this enables the Children to read to their parents and share the Bible with them, as most of the older generation in these isolated locations are unable to read, it tends to be the children who have the ability to read and therefor sharing the love of the Bible to those who might not otherwise be able to access materials of faith.

I sat and pondered after hearing both of these stories today. It really puts things in to perspective. There are children in other parts of the world who would do anything to have even so much as a book to read, whereas children in our own country take literature (one of life greatest things) for granted. I personally think this perspective needs to change, not only for the benefit of the children but the benefit of their futures. By no means am I suggesting that we ban modern technology or hole children up in a secret hideaway where they are forced to read for 22 hours a day (although, I think i’d love that) but maybe we should be reintroducing a greater degree of reading into our children’s lives? If this is through e-readers or books on consoles then great but, theres a whole wealth of information out there that these children are missing out on because they aren’t picking up a book. Books are such a good form of escapism and a source of growth for their imagination.

Reading was and continues to be such a huge part of my life that it’s almost incomprehensible to me that children not only don’t pick up a book for fun but also do not want to? What’s going on?

Come on…. let’s change this. Let’s get our kids reading again.

 

In the zone.

So, I went about this in a slightly different way than usual. I wrote this blog as I sat beside the rink, waiting for Queenie and the kids to arrive, I wanted to document part of how a day at the rink really feels, as it happened. It’s not perfect, not does it capture the true feelings of a day like today but, it’s a start at letting you in on a big part of my life. It’s also written in the present tense, as things were happening.

Here goes….

I have arrived in Sheffield early, this is a blessing. Along the way there’s been hold ups, traffic, honking horns and a serious lack of caffeine. However, as I sit by the side of the rink watching the zamboni prepare the ice, already I can feel the tightness in my body dispel, it is replaced by a different type of anxiety, an anxious sort of excitement; the type of ‘I can’t waitedness’. This week has been royally shit and the second I step on that ice, I know that once again, everything will be okay.

I’m sat surrounded by families having their pre and post skate snacks and mothers desperately clutching their coffee as they try to breathe life into their frost bitten finger tips, all in the name of ice ( a very worthy cause may I add). Behind me I can hear a father explaining the joys of fresh ice to their children who by the sounds of it have just managed to prise their hands off of the training penguins and embrace the freedom of the ice pad at its very finest.

Anyway, I digress. The point I’m trying to make is that I have an almost insatiable urge to dive onto the ice, without anyone having arrived yet! Once again, I find myself asking why it is that I do not visit the rink more often? Why I leave it weeks or often months in-between visits when I know it makes me so happy.

Today I’m more anxious than usual to get on the ice for things don’t entirely feel the way they usually do (i’m censoring this version, to save you the dull bits). I’m inspired by the ice and its inherent qualities and the power it can have over me.

Just by sitting here alone, I can hear that it’s not just me and me alone who feels this way, there are people all around me discussing the wonders of the ice and I even heard a father telling his daughter of the healing powers of the ice (what a wonderful thought). They’re sharing the love with their partners and children, this is something I long for, something I dream of but for now it’s my little piece of heaven. I don’t have to share any of it, not for now, the happiness and ecstasy it brings me is mine and mine alone.

Oh, I’m being beckoned by Queenie, she has announced her arrival.

Let’s do this. Ice, i’m coming for you.

(Panthers, I’ll see you later, that’s gonna be a whole other tale)

Say it louder.

I had never heard of ‘The Blurt Foundation’ before. I was scrolling through Twitter when my attention was drawn to it and now, I want to take this opportunity to share it with you.

The Blurt Foundation are a group who are dedicated to raising the awareness of depression, anxiety and stress; a relatively new group with an idea that is set to change the approach to mental health awareness. Blurt ask their members to think of them as ‘the knowing nod. You’ve seen it – a slight bob of the head, often accompanied by a smile. A little movement that says, “I understand”, “I’m listening” and “I’m here for you”. That’s us.’ Their principle is simple, help those who are suffering from these aforementioned illnesses.

So, what do they do? First and foremost they provide support for people suffering from the illnesses, those helping the suffering and offer resources to educate and spread the word about this issue. They publish podcasts from themselves and guests speakers and professionals on the topic, they offer a range of peer support for anybody should they need it, additionally, they provide resources for schools and those interested in spreading the word about mental health and their newest venture…. buddy boxes.

A buddy box is their new service….. it’s not an entirely new Idea as it’s been used all over by friends, family and people who know how much it can mean to sufferers to get something extra. The company however, are providing the service for both sufferers and those that want to show sufferers that they care.  It’s a bit like a care package. They provide gift boxes full of little treats which encourage the owner to look after themselves and take time out to remember that they are important. One example shown includes calming camomile tea bags, a mindfulness colouring book and pencils, sleep easy balm and a calming lavender scent bag. Now many people may accuse them of trying to palm depression off as being treatable with ‘things’ however, they do state that it’s not meant to cure individuals; purely just show another that you care or to treat and encourage yourself to look after you first and foremost.

Some of you may not understand the importance of little things like this but, to someone who is suffering it can mean the difference between a washout day and a mood booster from the recognition that somebody cares. With one in four people now suffering from a mental health illness, you’re more likely to know somebody who is suffering than not, it may even be yourself. so why not treat them or yourself. What a lovely idea to show someone you care!!

For those of you who regularly follow my blog, you’ll know that i’m a big supporter of spreading the word on mental health and reducing the stigma attached. This foundation are joining that fight and propelling it forward, shouting out to more of those that don’t understand or haven’t learnt about it. If you work in a school or work with young people, resources can be found on their website to help the younger generations understand early about looking after their mental health as well as their physical. Similarly, if you want to learn more about The Blurt Foundation, I strongly advise you to visit their website at http://www.Blurtitout.org.

Why don’t you be part of this new movement and take the time out to make a difference to someone’s day who really needs it.

I can’t do it.

The National Union of Teachers (NUT) have been reported their rapidly increasing fears for the mental health of children in education. They are claiming that the increasing number of standardized tests are causing more and more children to experience stress, self-esteem issues, depression and linked illnesses which have all been associated with the testing itself. Standardised testing is introduced at a very young age, where children are expected to demonstrate their knowledge of classwork and extra revision and homework completed outside of the school environment. One teacher has reported on how “You just see them sat there, a 10 or 11 year old kid in complete meltdown.” And another teacher explained how she had “just had a child off school for three days because he was so worried about his recent test results and didn’t want to take any more tests.” Now this doesn’t divulge into how old the student was or what type of tests they were however, does this not strike a chord with you? Do you really think that at such a young and vulnerable age children should be so pressured into striving to achieve such high results? Before you jump down my throat, I understand that testing is needed to gain an understanding of the child’s ability and that it’s nigh on impossible to get through school without taking a standardised test; at least in mainstream public school anyway Waldorf schools are whole other story (and not a particularly pretty one). Are quite so many needed? Do children not peform better in classroom situations where it isn’t so pressurised and they can demonstrate a wide knowledge of a subject as opposed to a small snippet of hurried panic in an exam hall? Many may argue that this is a way of excusing the less able from avoiding their poor exam results but the report has shown that the mental health issues have affected all areas of the ability through education including the teaching staff themselves. Not only is this putting a great deal of stress on the students, the level of stress placed on the teachers in increasing too. With more and more responsibility of ensuring these children are exam ready many have made it loud and clear that “If it isn’t relevant to a test then it is not seen as a priority.’ In many cases this means that children are missing out on a whole spectrum of information to help them later in life purely because it’s not exam material. The latest terminology to be introduced to the argument sees schools being turned into ‘exam factories’ where the entire educational culture are geared towards nothing more than meeting government exam targets and ofsted expectations. School should be about so much more than that, it should be about gaining social skills for life ahead, making friends, having fun as well as the importance of the knowledge side of things. I understand that as children get older and work through secondary school they need to want to learn and then the exams should have more importance but still not sole importance. I think it comes to something very sad when children as young as nine and ten are suffering from mental illnesses due to exam worries, it’s at this point something needs to be done. What do you think? Have you got a child that has or is suffering from the effects of the ‘exam factories’?

Mannequin Madness

Sitting on the 13:40 Service from Derby to Nottingham, I find myself wandering aimlessly around carriage C . Firstly for somewhere to put my suitcase which appears to be getting heavier by the minute and secondly finding an available seat in the forward facing position; how on earth people manage to do the whole backwards travelling thing without projectile vomming the length of the carriage will forever be beyond me (You incredible people). Anyway, I digress, in an attempt to waste the odd twenty minutes left until my stop I picked up a copy of The Metro and whilst flipping through much to my dismay my attention was caught once again by an article with its foundations firmly embedded in the fashion world. Once again disputes between plus sized women and size zero or below a size 8 women.

This article in particular honed in on mannequins used in Topshop, La Perla and Primark. One Topshop mannequin in particular was photographed next to a lady sized 8 to 10 and the mannequin is clearly by comparison a lot smaller, skinnier and the legs of the mannequin are at least half the thickness of the modeling woman next to it. The store have since been approached as asked to use more realistic models incorporating what is now known as plus size- anything above a UK size 14. They responded to the comments and remain determined that they always have and always will continue to advocate what they deem as a healthy body size for women. Similarly, when questioned about the mannequin’s ridiculously slim legs and contour they also responded with claims that a clothes mannequin has to abide by particular measurements so as to enable them to keep the ability to change the model’s clothing easily and ensure that the clothing sits and fits well on the dummy body. Now, in my opinion the store has given two conflicting statements, one which suggests they will advocate a healthy female body size and another which suggests that their main priorities is to ensure their mannequins do nothing other than allow for staff ease and presentation and dimensions.

What is yet more abhorrent is that both La Perla and Primark the latter being an especially influential brand with young people up and down the country have both been found to feature mannequins that feature evident rib and bone structures through the model figure. Initially this looks to me as though as a company they are promoting skeletal and unhealthy figures which are so commonly associated with eating and mental disorders. Again both of these figures were showcased in this particular edition of The Metro who thank goodness was also taking my particular stance on the issue.

With so many young children already being sexualized at such a young age, with beauty pageants becoming ever more common and children being entered younger than ever it’s important that issues such as this are not promoted and exposed to the easily influenced audience until they are able to make their own decisions. Similarly, high street stores are featuring bras for younger children, sexualized clothing and make up sets aimed directly at children as young as three! Although I understand that such products aren’t avoidable to children forever, I believe that a childhood should be preserved for as long as possible, let the children be children whilst they can- I mean come on, who wants to advocate growing up after all? It’s no fun!

So I guess ultimately what I’m saying is a mixture of things. Initially, be comfortable in the skin you’re in. You are beautiful just the way you are, you don’t need to be size 0, bleach blonde hair with Botox to be beautiful. What you do need to do however is be YOU! Express who you are. Whether that is size 22 or size 6 it’s okay! Similarly, let your children be children. There will be plenty of time for makeup and hair gel when they get older let them make mud pies and eat worms for now, the rest well, that’s for later!

Go out there. Be beautiful. Be you and most importantly BE HAPPY!

Are you sure? Is this for real?

The British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) and Pan Eureopean Game Information (PEGI) are responsible for rating each and every piece of film and game that’s released into the consumers hands. The BBFC’s logo claims to have “age ratings you trust” at it’s heart however, is this still the case in today’s society? With 37% of the UK classing themselves as active gamers and with even larger numbers engaging in media such as films and home cinema. These numbers are rising continuously so it is evermore important that we have an accurate, secure and suitable ratings system that prevents gamers of all ages playing games that are not age appropriate.  PEGI was initated in 1997 and BBFC in 1988. between the two of them there’s a huge number of years experience or so you would think.

The question I’m asking to all of you is, are the age and content ratings still appropriate today or do they need to be re-evaluated to suit the needs of our current social standing? With more and more children gaining access to media such as video games and an even greater number playing unsupervised is this perhaps the time to be considering the appropriateness of the content, and the overall rating? Who gets to decide what’s appropriate for a 3, 5, 7, 15 or 16 year old to see? Do these people have any idea about children or the effect that films and video games can have on them in the long run-both mentally and physically?  

Take the BBFC’s 12/12a rating, this suggest that “Moderate language is allowed. The use of strong language (for example, f#@K) must be infrequent” meaning that words such as this are able to be showcased in films deemed appropriate for those of age 12? I’m not sure I agree with this statement and i’m not sure I’d wish for any child of mine to be hearing such language at aged 12! The story is similar with violence “occasional gory moments may be permitted if justified by the context” and again something I wouldn’t be happy for someone of the age of 12 to be open to especially without any form of parental guidance, wherein there is the potential for hypodermic syringe theory to come into practice. This is where the viewer becomes indoctrinated by the texts’ messages and begin to believe they’re acceptable in real life scenarios. Moving up the scale to the age 15 rating the guidelines state that “There may be frequent use of strong language (for example, ‘f#@k’). The strongest terms (for example, ‘c@#t’) may be acceptable if justified by the context.” this especially stands out especially as at age 15 you’re still very impressionable and therefor could eventually become desensitized to such language…. it works the same for violence “There may be detailed verbal references to sexual violence but any portrayal of sexual violence must be discreet and have a strong contextual justification.”. If exposed to such detail and theme as young as 15 you’re likely to again become desensitized by it, believe it’s acceptable and not be as phased by it in future circumstances or later on in life when you’re held accountable for you actions to a much greater extent. 

 It’s perhaps worth thinking about the two step flow theory which suggests the way we receive a piece of media is highly affected and dependent on who we watch the media text with; they’re known as the opinion leader and have the opportunity to change the opinion and way the others receive the text. For instance if watching a film with bad language and you’re watching with your mother the impact the language has upon you in the long run is likely to be considerably different to if you watch it with your friends. Some of the BBFCs justifications would be much more acceptable if there was the guarantee that all people under a certain age were watching the text with someone less impressionable and able to process some of the more difficult issues with much more ease and more developed tools.

PEGI rate in a slightly different way; as well as age ratings for games they also provide content ratings for violence, sexual, gambling, discrimination, crime, fear, bad language, drugs as well as highlighting whether the game has an online gaming feature. These are presented in picture format with images that would be universally understood by those in a position of authority or of a younger age. They of course also provide an age rating scheme which features 3,7,12,16 and 18. Their age 12 rating states that “video games that show nudity of a slightly more graphic nature would fall in this age category.” meaning that children aged 12 are able to freely be exposed to nudity in their games. Something again, which I disagree with. Progressing up to age 16 we are told that “The depiction of violence (or sexual activity) reaches a stage that looks the same as would be expected in real life. More extreme bad language, the concept of the use of tobacco and drugs and the depiction of criminal activities can be content of games that are rated 16” Although at 16 many young people are deemed mature and many are. Although you’re likely to get the section of immature at any age the number is much higher in this age bracket. You also have to take into consideration the proportion of young people that will lack the necessary life skills and tools which will enable them to process difficult themes and situations in the right way and put them into the correct context. Which is why I alone refuse to accept that either the PEGI or BBFC ratings are appropriate for unsupervised game playing and need serious reconsideration to be appropriate for the younger people of this generation in order to protect them in the long run. When and if they are reconsidered the fact that children are playing them alone needs to become a key factor in the rating criteria. 

I know at this point you’re probably bored senseless with my ranting but, I think it’s an issue which should a.) be taken more seriously and B.) looked at in more detail sooner rather than later. Although the ratings exist from preventing the games from being bought by anyone under the rating I also think more needs to be done to ensure that the younger parties aren’t getting hold of games that are inappropriate of their age category. More work needs to be done partnering the game creators, the merchant and the consumer together to ensure that the younger people are protected. 

At the very least in my opinion the ratings bodies which are currently available to rate out media texts are only efficient to a certain extent, and re-evaluation needs to occur pretty soon in order for the youth of today and tomorrow to be protected from viewing harmless content they weren’t necessarily supposed to have hold of. Let’s fight together for a safer, more secure media world for not only us but for those in the next generations who will be even more exposed to it all. 

What do you think? let me know do you think our rating systems are efficient enough?? 

Care or concern?

October 1^st marked the day that a vast proportion of members of both the NUT and NASUWT all across the United Kingdom supposedly took striking action. This left many schools and colleges with no other option other than to shut down or limit the student intake for the day. On the surface the teachers are said to be striking facing issues with performance pay, poor funding and once again pension issues however, how many of those teachers on strike were actually the ones that are going to benefit from such and not just lose out?

Teaching is all about ensuring that the children of tomorrow are getting the best possible education today and at getting themselves to the next step. If you are a teacher you should be in the job because you care about the students and you want them to do as well as possible. You want to go above and beyond your average duty of care to ensure that they really can get the most from their education, the strike in no way supports this part of teaching. By striking what you’re are doing is neglecting your duty of care in adding to the possibility that you’re leaving children a day  without valuable education, there’s no certainty that there is going to be somebody within the institution to care for them, ensure they are safe and well and you are therefore potentially endangering them.

The whole idea behind performance pay is that those who are achieving more and not taking a step back are rewarded for their efforts in the workplace, and it’s only fair that those who go over and above what is expected of them are compensated for their times and efforts; above those in the institutions who scrape by doing the bare minimum with little or no care for the children and are in the job just for the holidays and an easy ride with nobody checking up on your performance too often. Performance pay is a great idea, it ensures that those that are working with the children and young adults effectively get the achievement they deserve and for ensuring the children get the absolute most out of their education. It’s those taking a back seat that really want to be worried about this new implementation being fast tracked as it’s entirely possible that they could see their pay taking a tumble.

Strikes do show that there is a base of people who are trying to stand up for what they believe in but it’s at this point questionable as to the real reasoning that they care. Is it because they truly care about education, which if it is the case why abandon the key part of your job for a day or is it because they’re one of those who are becoming increasingly more worried about their pay taking a cut? Why leave your place of duty in a state of disarray if you really truly cared?