Transition

I can’t believe it. I genuinely cannot believe it. I’ve finished my degree, I’ve had all my results back and i’ve done better than I ever believed possible. Completing this degree in itself was enough of a victory for me, I did not think it was going to happen. At so many points over the past three years i’ve thought I couldn’t do it but, I’ve overcome it every single time and I have done it.

Going to university away from home for me was a huge risk. Anybody that knew me before uni knows how much of a home girl I was, I wasn’t adventurous, I didn’t really know who I was, what I wanted or where I belonged. My first semester at uni was hell. I hated the vast majority of it and spent most of my time searching for jobs back at home that would allow me to sustain myself and get out of uni. I’d even contacted other universities closer to home about the possibility of transferring, none of which seemed possible. Now, with hindsight and Jesus in my life, I can recognise why these options were blocked for me, why I couldn’t walk through these doors. I was at uni because I had a goal, I had a plan…. all career oriented of course because what else would you focus on in life? Age 16 I had a 6 year plan that would result in me having a full time teaching position at the end of it. Well, by year two this had been extended to a 7 year plan, this did not go down well. I can tell you that I am now 7 years down the line and nothing has gone to plan, or at least to my plan. It has not been easy laying down hopes and dreams for the meantime however, it was rather evident that this is what I was being asked to do. I sit writing this the day before starting my new job. My new job that is going to see me remaining in Derby for at least another year (This still baffles me). Now, if you had told me that three years ago I would have laughed in your face and said you didn’t know me, part of me still wants me to do this.

My career path isn’t the only thing to have changed. In fact, this experience has enabled me to grow into the person I was always supposed to be. I’m finding my feet in my true identity and learning what it looks like to be loved in a whole new way. Being part of a truthful, honest, encouraging community and engaging in challenging adventures i’d never even imagined. My heart has been opened to people groups I had never knowingly crossed before.  I have learnt that it’s okay to have boundaries, it’s okay to say no and that we are not made to please other people all of the time. There are genuinely far too many thank yous owed to the people in my life now and those who have played a part in getting me to where I am today. Each of our interactions and experiences has had an impact on who I am now.

It’s been a bumpy ride with those mountain top highs and valley lows. I’ve been to rock bottom and back. I’ve learnt more valuable lessons than those my degree taught me. I found some of the most amazing people to walk beside me. Jesus found me.

For once, I’m not sure wholly what this next stage of my life is going to look like, i’m learning how to navigate that. I have a job, and I have a new home and I’m sure that with these footholds brings new challenges, new adventures and new friends. I know that it involves God and that’s the only stronghold I need.

One thing is for certain. I’m ready for this new chapter to begin.

Bring it on.

Breathe life.

Sometimes, some of the most important lessons to be learnt are the hardest and often take the longest. Even this alone can take a long time to realise.

Filling your life with joy and life bringers is so incredibly important but, how many of us actually do that? How many of us remain in unhealthy, life destroying relationships that kill our joy just because it is the easy option, or we’re trying to please other people? It’s tough when it takes so long to realise you have surrounded yourself with the wrong people but once you realise you have a series of choices you can make, These choices can either provide an escape route from these relationships or leave you very much in the midst of them. At this point however, the decision is down to you. It’s your responsibility.

My life looks so much better when I actively choose to spend my time with people who fill me with joy, life, faith, reality and truth. Things begin to look brighter, more hopeful and I laugh more. I am aware of my worth and all that I can bring to a friendship. Who I am is valued rather than who I need to try and be and that in itself is such a huge relief. Spending time with people who invest in you, lift you up and fill you with joy is how life is supposed to be. Individuals who pull you back into place when you slip into negative behaviours and ways of life.

When I think about my life and the people who fill me with life and goodness, it’s when I am with them that I am my happiest, when I feel the most hopeful and feel like I can take over the universe. I am so grateful to these people for showing me what life can look like if I surround myself with the right individuals. How my life can be transformed just in a few hours of being with them.

So, I urge you all to evaluate your relationships, surround yourself with the life breathers. Focus on you, fill your life with love and positive relationships because it sure is too short to be unhappy and drained of all that is good. YOUR IDENTITY IS MORE THAN WHAT SOMEBODY ELSE THINKS. Nobody has time for negative nellies, be the person you would want to meet.

Be a life bringer.

Moving into the 21st gender century

Much to my dismay it is a conservative MP who has first addressed the issue of gender in the UK; in terms of identification and the limiting options that forms for things such as passports and driving licenses offer.

In today’s society it is becoming more understood that there are more than two genders to identify as. Long gone is the restricting age of simply male or female.

I will freely admit that until I attended university I was one of those who was unaware of the wide range of genders in the big wide world, I had heard of nothing more than Male, Female and Transgender. University changed this, at least three people within my social circle identify as none of these! Addressing the issue of passports, driving licenses and public toilets therefore, is an issue which many will argue should have been addressed a long time ago. At the University of Derby, each of the campus sites are now fitted with a gender neutral toilet facility allowing everyone to feel comfortable using the bathroom whatever their gender; it’s no longer limited to solely male or female.

Maria Miller, the chair of the Commons Women and Equalities committee has focused on the role a gender identification plays on official documents such as passports and exclaims that a person’s sex really is not relevant for identification and has on numerous occasions cause bias during job applications, something which you’d think was non-existent in the 21st century, however is quite evidently not.

Other countries such as Australia has already de-gendered their passports with greater ease than appears to be occurring here in the UK. Even organisations such as Facebook now allow for users to select one of 58 different genders to display on their profile, something which may only be a small step towards educating the wider audience to a vaster array of genders but a step none the less.

Surely, anything that can be done to make and individual feel more comfortable with themselves, is a change worth making? As someone who identifies as Female it makes no difference to me personally, whether the gender identification is abolished or broadened on official documents however, anything that can be done to make somebody more comfortable in their own skin and surroundings has to be a beneficial change right?

Why not educate yourself if you’re not already aware of the entire gender spectrum? We’ve moved into a more accepting society and it’s about time.

Let me know what you think; should gender identification be removed from formal documents?