So you hand in your dissertation. That’s it. You’re done. What now?
You a month left on the tenancy of your house. Your family live somewhere else. All your friends are in your university city and most likely living in the same house as you. Some are returning to their families, some are staying put. What do you do? Where is your life now? This is the reality for most ‘away from home’ graduates.
Nobody prepares you for the moment you realise you could be leaving everything you have known for the past three years behind. Nor for the fact that your university home might well become your home post uni. That’s the decision I made. I could not leave behind everything I’d spent the past three years building, everything I had grown to love so much. So now Derby is my home. But nobody could have told me this was the case three years ago as I was kicking and screaming to go back to my family. Nor would I have ever considered this as an option.
What about your job? Having a degree will make you so much more employable. Right? Well, for now a large chunk of my graduate friends are still unemployed. Maybe you could just do a masters, after all you don’t know what else to do? This is the case for another chunk of people. It’s more viable than finding a job in their sector of work and postgraduate loans are now accessible, what’s not to like? I am not in either of these positions. I fell into a role working with refugees and asylum seekers, a dream come true really but, this is not the case for most people and it’s not currently a permanent role (an area of great anxiety for me).
Within work? Nobody prepares you for that almost instant shift to ‘adult mode’ where you’ve gone from student, young person still relying on discounted clothes and the reduced section in Asda to expected to have it together for a job and responsibilities you’ve never had before. For me, being given a set of keys and security code for the entire building where I now work was a responsibility I was not prepared for. My colleagues laughed at me as I shirked away from the bunch of keys that were being held in front of me. I have lots of criteria to meet for this project I’m co-ordinating and if I don’t meet them that’s the project ended. The funding gets cut and it ends. That’s one hell of a responsibility to be sat on my shoulders considering the amount of positive change this project is causing.
How about your work/life balance? Didn’t really have to worry about that before. What about getting home from a long day and just not wanting to go for dinner or a pint but instead climbing into your pyjamas and getting a good night sleep. How do you deal with the questions of appearing anti-social and like you’ve adopted a changed lifestyle? Change has the potential to make or break many things, friendships being one of them. But, nobody prepares you for this.
What about your friends? Where are they? Did they stay in your uni city or somewhere else? Were you living with them for three years and now you’re having to adjust to life without them? Nobody warned you about the emotions, change in routine or the little things you had come to take advantage of. Things like having to arrange to meet your friends for coffee rather than rendezvousing in the kitchen every half hour or diving on in to their room for a hug if you’re feeling a bit rubbish. This has been a big change for me. Nobody warns you that half of your friends will disperse across the country and even some across the globe, just like that they’ve gone from being an integral part of your life to relatively inaccessible on a daily basis.
Does anyone ever really feel like an adult? Does anybody ever really prepare you for the realities of life? Can you be prepared? You get my point. There are a great deal of ‘what ifs’, unexpected surprises and shocks in store for those who are coming to the end of their degree and graduating. It’s such a tough, transitionary period of life where there is not enough support provided. It’s a scary, exciting time but if people don’t know what to do with these emotions or in this stage of their life., it can rapidly spiral out of control.
What do you think? Disagree with me? Have you graduated? How did you find the transition period?
The unhinged ramblings of a cogitating nonconformist. 