Elderly entertainment

 

left to right: Dr Cheesbrough, Joan Auton, Patricia Flavell, Emma Nugent, Bathapi Daputha, Claire Conway and Freddie Conway around Fred Flavell centre screen. 

 

A couple of weeks ago you’ll remember I wrote about an upcoming press release regarding a television my family and I were donating in memory of my Grandad to the care home in which he used to reside. All went incredibly well and the residents are now busy enjoying their new larger television, DVD player and collection of classic DVDs.

The reporter and photographer were waiting for us once we had arrived and were buzzing to interview and photograph us (something which I wasn’t looking forward to). I had spoken to the reporter several times in the week leading up to the event and he has demonstrated great levels of interest and intrigue into our story and how it came about. The interview wasn’t formal or anything like I had anticipated in fact after the formal photographs had been taken we sat around a large pot of tea (for me it was coffee) and an even bigger plate of biscuits whilst we delved into the memories we had of my Grandad with both family members and members of Sandford house. Whilst chatting away there were bouts of laughter and tears both happy and sad. The day felt like closure, up until then we had been in and out arranging things with various people etc but, the day with the press really made it feel like the true end which of course made us all very sad but, with the new television and memorial plaque in place made us determined to ensure that the memories, spirit and impact of my Grandad stay alive in memory of such a wonderful man.

Sandford house do incredible things for their residents twenty four hours a day providing even one to one care for those who need it most, my Grandad was one of those. They ensure the residents aren’t neglected, left alone for extensive periods of time and that each individuals needs are met over and above their baseline levels. They provide trips out for the residents to museums, nurseries, shops, cafes and really within reason where ever the residents request to go or show an interest in going they try their very hardest to get them there. The doors to the residence are open twenty four hours a day for family and friends visiting whilst of course still taking the necessary safety precautions. Personally I found Grandad’s transition from our family home to hospital hard enough but to then be told he had to be moved into permanent care absolutely devastated me; the staff at Sandford house worked endlessly to ensure that both my family’s and my own mind was put at rest! Admittedly it took a while to adapt to the new arrangements but not once did they restrain from trying to settle both my Grandad and ourselves. I know it’s cheesy when people say they go the extra mile but this place really truly did go the extra mile not just with my Grandad but with every single resident of the carehome! It’s partially for these reasons that instead of having flower donations at my Grandad’s funeral we asked for donations to put towards the new television for the residents. In the final weeks of my Grandad’s life the small television and dvd player he so commonly sat around with the other residents broke and only functioned if tilted on its side, yet another reason to provoke us to purchase the new system for them.

To see the Television and accessories in place as well as the final article produced makes me very proud of both my Grandad and my family for working and donating so much towards the cause so that the lives of the residents can be improved just that little bit more and the memory of my Grandad can stay alive within the residence itself.

Thanks go to Doug Faulkner and Matthew Usher for the article once again! Also to the staff at Sandford house for making everything extra special along the journey. A great donation for a great place. Below you can find the article produced by Doug himself.

http://www.derehamtimes.co.uk/news/family_donates_50in_tv_to_dereham_care_home_in_memory_of_much_loved_former_resident_1_3734874

 

….time to face the music.

After two months of being imprisoned within the four walls of his hospital ward tomorrow marks the moving of my Grandad. Much to my dismay he’s moving into a care home. This means he’s not ever coming home again. Ever. This is excruciatingly difficult to comprehend as he previously lived at home with me and the rest of our immediate family. 

The decision has been made that we ‘cannot provide sufficient care’ for him at home in his current state, and as we have been told that he’s not going to get any better due to the nature of his illness, a care home is supposedly the ‘best place’ for him, where he can be given one to one, 24 hour, seven day a week care that we can’t give at home. 

Admittedly I think that the care home will be better for him than the hospital with the stupid, rude, ignorant carer I was faced with the other day however, what thought I can’t expel from my mind is that we should be able to provide sufficient care for him in HIS OWN HOME!! I’m told this is impractical and a faulty way of thinking about it but the feeling of guilt is so overwhelming and i’m in a position of absolutely no power or authority in this situation. Yet still i’m feeling so guilty for not being able to do anything.

Alas, when there really is nothing I can do I guess that I’ve just to help to make him as comfortable as possible under the circumstances and despite the fact he doesn’t really know who I am anymore continue to devote my time to him and make him feel as homely as possible. We keep moving forward.

We continue in hope that one day a miracle cure will be found to prevent this bastard of an illness.  

The inevitable.

These past couple of weeks have been all about the inevitable. Things happening that I knew would occur eventually but, didn’t necessarily want them to arrive.

Take college for example, my year has officially had their last compulsory day at the sixth form center, this means everyone’s going their own separate ways, off to uni, work and other educational institutes and some well, don’t really know what they’re doing. I on the other hand will be at college for yet another year, if it wasn’t for me picking entirely the wrong subjects in the first place, this wouldn’t be happening but, alas it is and i’ve just gotta get on with it. Although doing another year isn’t in my top ten of things I want to do, what’s more crappy is that everyone else is moving away, including a set of the best friends ever, Loggy and Owly especially! Yes, i’m well aware that Maple and Queenie are still here but, they’re not helping the whole ‘loner’ scenario! Who’s going to instigate friendterventions now?

Secondly, my Grandad. Yes, another inevitable situation but one that I REALLY didn’t want things to come to. His Alzheimer’s has deteriorated to quite the extreme and he no longer recognizes me, this just breaks my heart. Because of this deterioration and other new developing illnesses, the current care situation he’s being provided isn’t sufficient enough and after admittance to hospital due to illness the decision has been made to move him into a care home. Yes, that’s right, he’s moving out of my house and into one where complete strangers are going to be responsible for one of the people I love most in the world, and boy do I feel guilty. There’s not a lot I can do in this scenario instead of hoping that one day they find some miraculous cure that can reverse the damage done. Hope that one day he remembers my face again and that we can make him as comfortable as possible. It’s breaking my heart.

Thirdly exams, which seems to be surprisingly for a change, the least of my worries! I’ve less than two weeks until the next one, I’m exhausted from cruddy revision and am losing the will to carry on with it all. But, none the less at least, I have a good network of amazing friends and family to keep me going no matter what for which I will be eternally grateful.

Until the next, just gotta keep on going.

Dementia sucks

Slipping.

Dementia and Alzheimer’s are a bitch. They are one of the worst things ever, to watch someone you love so dearly be snatched away by something that’s not treatable nor fixable is painful. 

Words cannot express how horrible it is to watch someone you love stay with you in person but slip away mentally forgetting more as each day goes by. It sucks. 

Alas, we visit, we take baby steps and hope for a miracle to occur and hope to have my beloved grandad back home soon. 

If you take anything from this let it be the motivation to live life to the full, grasp every opportunity that arises and spend time with those special friends and family members for you never know what’s waiting around the corner, life’s not always kind. 

Keep smiling. 

A bad day.

Anyone that lives with or has had experience with anyone living with Dementia or Alzheimers knows that there are good days and bad days and that they can go as quickly as they come, sometimes they last just a day and other times weeks.

Today unfortunately, is a bad one. Every time the bad days subside you hope that it’ll be the last but, really deep down inside you know that give it a few days, a week or month if we’re lucky and all the progress built up in the previous days will once again be lost. But, you work through it, you show them the right way, you remind them, you help them and you carry on as usual, despite things being far from it. Yes, it’s incredibly difficult but, sometimes you just have to stay strong for those going through it. We don’t really discuss it in our house, it’s just something we’re all learning to live with; some better than others.

It’s watching someone you love slip away right before your eyes, slowly and painfully. Watching them forget even the most simplest of activities right up to some of your most precious memories. It’s not easy.

I pray that one day they will find a cure to prevent this terrible illness that snatches those who we love away from us in one of the most cruel ways possible.

We hope.